Are you taking care of everyone but you?
When you have a family member that is struggling with addiction it can take over your whole life. You may not know where to turn. Friends and family don't always give the best advice.
It can feeling isolating to see a loved one going into the pits of addiction.
You can get out of the addictive cycle and practice coping skills to heal yourself. Find out if the best way to help your loved one is to take care of yourself in an unmanageable situation. Getting the right support in a safe environment makes a difference. You don't have to suffer alone.
How I can help
Learning how to detach from the addict/alcoholic is the first step. Redirecting the focus from their behavior to yours is important so that you can get back your energy.
You may feel emotionally and physically drained by all the chaos. Getting you back on track is where the work starts. Practicing good self-care, setting boundaries and saying no are all important for you as well as for your children.
Group support like Al-Anon and counseling together is the best combination because you'll get the one on one support plus a support system to practice these skills. You'll learn about the disease concept and how to cope with the pain of addiction. Principles such as powerlessness, detachment and surrender can provide tremendous emotional relief.
If that's not for you, that's okay. We'll practice these concepts and valuable tools in session so that you can get back to your own life. You deserve to get your needs met too.
Read my blog to learn more about detachment.
Do you have issues with...
- Focusing primarily another person's needs or behaviors?
- Getting into relationships that don't work?
- Knowing what you want and need?
- Being generous and giving to a fault?
- Low self esteem or feel superior?
- Unexpressed anger or resentment?
- Setting limits and being able to say no?
Counseling for the family can indirectly help the addict hit bottom and eventually choose sobriety. If you keep trying to fix them, no one wins. You just exhaust yourself.
The Al-Anon program is a 12 step program for families and friends of alcoholics. They have meetings everyday in most large cities. Know that they offer confidential support and helpful coping skills.