What Anger is Trying to Tell You

Anger is one of those feelings you might ignore simply because it's a pain to deal with. 

We are taught at a young age don't be angry. Be nice, be helpful. Do everything you can to be liked. Don't think of yourself. 

As you grow older, putting family first and forgetting about yourself is common. You may be taking care of aging parents along with keeping up with your kids' activities. The list goes on and on.

All these messages translates to: don't express how you really feel - just suck it up.

Paying the Price

No one understands how much you do in a day. And no one asks. You complain to your partner but they don't get it, so you snap at the kids, feel irritable without knowing why.

You have trouble sleeping because you can't stop thinking about what needs to done tomorrow. Rest becomes almost impossible. Others point out that you rarely sit still. 

Life isn't fun anymore, maybe it never was...but you're tired of it. And it needs to stop. You're empty. A slow brewing resentment builds up inside. You stuff your feelings try to keep going. 

Anger is a Gift

Sooner or later, anger gets your attention. It points you towards what isn't working, or an aspect of your life that's out of whack. Instead of judging yourself for feeling anger, know that there is a reason why you're angry or resentful. It's not because you're selfish or wrong. You need to find out what's causing this anger?

Tips on Where to Start:

The differences between unhealthy and healthy anger 

The differences between unhealthy and healthy anger 

  • Do you do everything yourself and not ask for help?
  • Are you physically exhausted from doing too much?
  • Do you need to detach from other people's problems?
  • Do you avoid admitting hurt and angry feelings?
  • Do you need to say no more?
  • Do you ignore your own needs?
  • Are you there for everybody else but yourself?

Find out why you're angry and you'll see what needs to change. If you don't want to do something, stop making yourself do it

Take better care of yourself. Allow yourself to say no. Start expressing how you really feel. That's why anger is a gift. By honoring those feelings, they will point you in the right direction. For more help read my blog Learning Acceptance.

Your Next Steps

What's one thing you could do to take better care of yourself?

Make one small change that's doable. Get more sleep. Say no to a volunteer position that's too much. Ask a friend for a favor so YOU get a break. Always doing leads to always stressing. Making time to have fun and relax is vital if you want to enjoy life.

Let your anger have a voice.

You may recognize anger as a pit in the stomach or a hesitation to move forward. Write it out for clarity. Over time you'll develop an intuitive sense when something is wrong. Trust it. Let anger be your guide instead of the enemy.

You deserve to enjoy your life. Anger will guide you in the right direction if you listen.

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