7 Journal Prompts for Healing Codependency
Although codependency recovery takes time, writing prompts are a great way to jump start the process. Journal prompts include written exercises to help you examine old behaviors and heal them.
Although many people seek therapy and/or attend 12 step meetings (which I highly encourage), these writing exercises will help you get started on the path of recovery.
First let’s define our terms.
What Is Codependency?
Codependency is a relationship pattern where a person becomes overly focused on helping, rescuing or controlling others. Their identity gets defined by what they do rather than who they are.
Codependent relationships are one-sided, meaning that the codependent person carries the bulk of the load while the other person becomes the “identified patient” or the one needing help.
Common codependent behaviors Include:
Difficulty knowing what they want or need
Puts everyone else’s needs ahead of their own
Has trouble saying no or setting boundaries
Not being able to admit feeling hurt or angry
Focuses on keeping others happy, even if it hurts them
People pleasing instead of taking care of self
Difficulty trusting their own perceptions
Low self-esteem or thinks they know it all
Codependency Recovery
Codependency recovery is the process of unlearning dysfunctional patterns and creating self-trust and mutually satisfying relationships. Building self-esteem without relying on external validation is a primary goal. Recovery work means learning to value yourself and what you need.
These journal prompts will identify important areas in the recovery process. Remember small but steady wins the race!
7 Journal Prompts for Healing Codependency
1. What can you do to focus more on yourself?
Codependent people often neglect themselves for the sake of others. Although, they love being the hero, focusing too much on others makes them feel anxious, overwhelmed and depressed. Some develop stress-related illnesses.
Instead, consider what you need to take better care of yourself. Start by assessing your physical needs for healthy food, sleep, exercise etc. Attending to these simple but often ignored areas will help you feel more grounded.
Second, are there interests and hobbies that have been neglected because your energy went to helping others?
If yes, consider what’s really important to you. Can you give yourself permission to put some of your time towards what you want instead of always falling back into what others want?
Task: Make a list of self-care activities that would make life more enjoyable. What areas of your own life can you start focusing on?
2. What boundaries do you need to start setting?
Codependent people get lost in other people’s problems. Other people’s pain and suffering tend to dominate the codependent person’s thinking. They want so badly to help but lose themselves in the process.
In recovery, the goal is to find a balance between prioritizing self-care and giving to others. Changing this pattern can shift relationships from being one-sided to being mutually beneficial.
To begin, identify one area where you feel overwhelmed and consider what boundaries might help.
For instance:
Is there a situation where you’re tired of helping?
Can you give less in one area of your life?
Could you stay silent instead of volunteering?
Can you schedule some time every week for self-care?
Task: Pick one area where you are willing to say no or speak up about what will work for you.
3. How can you begin to detach from unhealthy situations?
Codependent people feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated in their relationships. They tend to attract people who are addicted or have lots of problems that need fixing.
The well-meaning codependent tries to fix the situation by exerting control. This triggers the other person to get defensive and pull away. No one likes being told what to do and although they mean well, codependent people end up creating more chaos.
Trying to help someone that doesn’t want to be helped is exhausting! Instead, practicing loving detachment can save your sanity. Detachment means letting go of control long enough to bring the focus back to your own life. Click here to read more on Detachment.
Task: How could you begin to detach so that you can get back to your own life?
Why not grab my free journal prompts ( click below )
4. How can you stop worrying about what others think about you?
Codependent people obsessively worry about what others think of them. Their self-esteem comes from external validation so confronting this issue is no small task. It’s important to practice gentleness towards self here. Loving oneself takes time and a willingness to find the good in ourselves.
Again, the process of recovery means not getting into other people’s heads (which is where the codependent gets stuck) but instead focus on oneself.
For instance, can you pat yourself on the back for a job well done or progress made instead of looking to others for acknowledgement? If you make a mistake, can you be gentle on yourself like you would do for a friend?
Task: When you notice yourself worrying about what others are thinking, get your focus back on something you need to do for your own recovery.
5. How can you let go of trying to be perfect and avoid making mistakes?
Having unrealistic expectations of yourself is a major challenge for codependents. Thinking that they should always be the best is how they define themselves.
Unfortunately, this creates a lot of internal stress that makes anxiety a lifelong struggle. Making mistakes becomes unacceptable, so they avoid trying new things.
Instead, the goal is to embrace their imperfections and practice self-acceptance. If they’re raising children, stopping the cycle of perfection can be a motivating factor. Most codependent people grow up assuming that they have to be perfect in order to be loved. Passing that belief onto their children can be a wake up call.
Task: Strive to embrace areas of imperfection. Everyone has little quirks that can be seen as endearing by those they love. Where can “being imperfect” lessen your load?
6. Where can you ask for help or support?
Codependent people pride themselves on doing everything for everybody else without ever asking for help. Of course, this makes life harder than it needs to be. Personal problems are handled in isolation as they don’t want to bother anyone or cause any potential upset.
Fears of being seen as selfish or weak are common with issues of codependency. Because their childhood experiences weren’t validated, the codependent person grows up with a mountain of self-doubt. They don’t trust that help will be offered, so they don’t ask.
Doing life alone feels safer than the risk of being vulnerable, but they are incredibly lonely as a result.
Task: Who in your life would be willing to support you in some way? Consider going to therapy or Al-Anon if you need more guidance.
7. How can you begin to trust your own perceptions and feelings?
Codependent people look to others for validation instead trusting their own experience. They go to great lengths to please others instead of trusting their own senses and intuition.
Trusting yourself starts by honoring your own experience - without judgment or criticism. Maybe it’s a gut feeling or an inner knowing that tells you to pay close attention. While intuition may look different on each person, we all possess it in some form.
Task: Practice getting to know what your own intuition looks like and start using it for guidance. This will greatly improve with time.
Final Thoughts
I hope you’ve found these prompts helpful in guiding your recovery and cultivating a kinder connection to yourself. Writing is a powerful tool for increasing our awareness over time.