Top 10 Posts for Keeping Relationships Healthy
Relationships are...fill in the blank. On a good day they are lifesaving and precious - connections that we hope will last forever. On the bad days they're heartbreaking and frustrating!
These blogs are a compilation of what it takes to have a healthy relationship. There are many skills that go into building a healthy relationship. Use these blogs to make one small but steady change at a time. Come back to these later as needed.
I'm covering the areas that made the most difference in my own growth. It starts with knowing what a healthy relationship look like then we'll look at boundaries, making amends, resolving conflict and much more!
Here's what you'll learn:
Traits of a Healthy Relationship
How to Start Setting Boundaries
3 Communication Problems that are Easy to Fix
One Word that Destroys Relationships
The Power of Making Amends
When Conflict Gets Messy
The Power of Saying No
The Art of Letting Resentments Go
How to Start Recovering from Codependent Relationships
Detachment for Surviving Addiction
1. Traits of a Healthy Relationship
What exactly is a healthy relationship? You might not think much about it until you need to.
Here is a list for how to do a mini-inventory on your relationships. It's important to be able to access both your strengths and weaknesses. That's how you grow - by taking the time to acknowledge progress and make steps toward change. Focus on making one small change at a time because that's more doable than trying to do too much then losing interest. To read more click here for Traits of a Healthy Relationship.
2. How to Start Setting Boundaries
When you know how to communicate clearly, relationships deepen and become more authentic. You feel empowered because you're taking better care of yourself. Setting boundaries become easier once you realize what's your responsibility and what isn't.
When you start setting boundaries you shift the focus from pleasing others to what works for you. This doesn't mean you stop giving, but the goal is to do it in moderation. To read more click here How to Start Setting Boundaries.
3. 3 Communication Problems that Are Easy to Fix
The biggest complaint I hear from couples if that..."We just can't talk anymore. We fight about the littlest things and it never ends."
You don't need years of therapy to learn how to communicate. With the right tools you can start to transform your communication today. When you know how to communicate effectively, it changes everything. You aren't afraid of conflict. You can say what you mean without saying it mean. To read more click here 3 Communication Problems that Are Easy to Fix.
4. One Word that Destroys Relationships
It's frustrating when you have the same argument again and again. You can't find a solution. It starts as a simple misunderstanding but somehow it becomes the hill you're willing to die on. How does that happen? You're not alone.
There is one word that heats up arguments and makes both people lose it. Hint - it's a word that we use all the time. This word will escalate an argument FASTER THAN ANY OTHER WORD! Click here to read One Word that Destroys Relationships.
5. The Power of Making Amends
What's the difference between an apology and making amends? "I'm sorry" is a common attempt to fix things. But the apology doesn't work if it becomes a pattern. Saying sorry can feel like the person wants you to forget about what happened without having to make it right.
Making amends is acknowledging your behavior and taking responsibility for it. This takes courage, humility, and a sincere desire to change. Click here to read The Power of Making Amends.
6. When Conflict Gets Messy
I used to dread talking things out but relationships get more difficult when you don't.
My early attempts at conflict didn't go so well. There were several pieces of understanding conflict that I needed to practice. It wasn't working to avoid the other person or to blame them. I had to learn to say what I mean without saying it mean. That takes some thought! To read more click here When Conflict gets Messy. Check out my free email course on Catching Your Anger Before It Hurts.
7. The Power of Saying No
When you think of saying no do you start to feel anxious or guilty? If you're feeling uncomfortable you're not alone! Maybe you say yes to avoid a hassle but deep down, you feel resentful - like you don't really have a choice. So you keep saying yes, offering to help or pitch in whenever someone needs help. You wish you could stop but you can't.
To read more click The Power of Saying No.
8. The Art of Letting Resentments Go
Susan prepares for weeks to create the perfect meal for her family but no one notices her efforts. She thinks to herself, "No one bothers to ask what I want."
John never saw his father at Christmas because his dad was with his "new family." Now his dad is alone and expects to be included in the holidays.
Maria spends lots of money on gifts for her nieces and nephews but never gets a thank you.
When there are unresolved resentments, family can be a painful reminder of what still hurts. This makes getting together a drag instead of a joy. To read more click The Art of Letting Resentments Go.
9. How to Start Recovering from Codependent Relationships
Codependency is a trap. If you struggle with people pleasing or have difficulty setting boundaries, relationships become lop-sided. The codependent person ends up doing all the heavy lifting. You give until it hurts.
But since it's only hurting you, you think it's not that bad. You want to be liked more than you want to risk being honest. People pleasing triggers a negative cycle of self-neglect that is the hallmark of codependency. To read more click How to Start Recovering from Codependent Relationships.
10. Detachment for Surviving Addiction
Detachment is letting another person experience their consequences instead of taking responsibility for their problems. It's focusing on yourself rather than rescuing them. This concept helps whenever you're trying to change or stop someone else's behavior. To read more click Detachment for Surviving Addiction.
I’ve created a private resource library including 15 Steps too Setting Healthy Boundaries and 20 Ways to Detach with Love and many other tips to help you create amazing relationships.